whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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