He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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