omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Sext me about skeletons
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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