My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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