I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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