So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
