Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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