why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
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It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
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How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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