Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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