a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
