I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
