Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
