okay pat passed out under dana's car
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
