Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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