I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
