I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
