i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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