In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
