i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
