My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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