somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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