he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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