Nicole vs. Life
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
