I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
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I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize