I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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