So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
