We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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