That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
