btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
