on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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