Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
