What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
