i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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