i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize