he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
