I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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