She just used a chaser for red wine.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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