so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
