The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
