You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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