I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
