butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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