she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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