Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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