Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
