I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
