just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
