It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
