i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
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Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
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But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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