I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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