So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
