they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
