Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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