dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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