Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
