Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize